Saturday, September 8, 2012

Family Car Trip = Tired Mom

First I want to explain that this blog will contain no photos...apparently the iPhone 4 was not equipped with a waterproofed operating system. Therefore, any photos that I took are sitting in a bag of rice with Siri hoping for of some resuscitation. Do you think the organic brown rice is superior and that Steve Jobs would find the humor and good sense in this? I'm sure hoping Apple hears me begging for this necessary water/wineproof feature on the iPhone 5. But let's face it, I will buy the next Apple iPhone and Jackson will need to know "sink like a stone or float; let's try it and see."...I don't think AT&T finds me insurable.
This brings me to the subject at hand...Family Car Trips...just say no! We decided to take a 5 day trip to Tampa to visit some family. We will be staying at their new house, where there are no children but they do have a large puppy dog, a pool with no child fence, many doors out, sparkling clean wood stairs without a gate and most importantly a LARGE wine refrigerator. Sounds like a great time because they are super fun...Enter toddler and baby...
We must pack for any and all events and emergencies...and when I say "we" must pack, I clearly mean "me". For 2 days I pack for the boys:  play clothes, pajamas, swimming clothes, oops I pooped my pants clothes, snacks (gummy spidermen and goldfish, this goes without say), books, cars ("lots of cars, momma") puzzles, highchair, baby gym; the list is endless. Then I throw together some things for myself. Mind you while I am packing Jackson's clothes, he keeps pulling them out to look at each item. Like all of a sudden I might pack the wrong outfit for him to throw a tantrum in.
Then comes our day of departure; I quickly get up, shower and dress. Jackson was refusing to eat breakfast because he can just eat snacks in the car - super! So Luke packs the car and wants to know why I'm not ready...GRRRRR! So I say let's leave when Blake is ready for a nap, hoping for some quiet in the car.
So we are off...Blake goes right to sleep, Yes! Jackson is watching movie Cars, another Yes! And I am sitting contemplating reading 50 Shades of Gray, which I have had for 2 months but not cracked open yet. After 30 minutes, Jackson decided he no longer wants to watch the movie, he wants me to sit in the back with him to read books. I get in the back to read books, this is where our trip heads south...
"Not that book!" "Put the movie back on! But only the racing parts." "Momma, look at this booger." "I'm peeing." Blake also decides that 45 minutes is long enough for napping because he was clearly missing a good time. Really though who could sleep through the constant yelling of "Mom, Momma, Mommy, Mom, Momma, Mommy...." I counted 2 million times in 4 hours, that was how many times Jackson yelled out my name. I look to Luke for some emotional support, he just shakes his head and explains, "Sharron, I'm driving" pointing straight ahead at the road as if I didn't know we were in the car. This is where  I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or throw myself out of the moving car...I just sat laughing so hard tears poured down my face...Moral of the story, install a keg instead of a dvd player, it will get more use and you will not care how many times your child yells out about his random bodily functions.
During this trip Jackson was to watch his movie, then we would stop for lunch and he would nap the rest of the way...HAHAHAHAHAHA! Novice Car Trip Mom - that's me! At one point I told Jackson that when we arrived I was going to have to poop for a long time. He thought that was the funniest thing he ever heard. I was preparing to be out of his sight for 30 minutes, no I don't think taking a glass/bottle of wine into the bathroom is sanitary but I'm just going to sit on the floor and savor the quiet. Maybe he will leave me alone if he thinks I'm pooping and why not, dads worldwide have mastered this skill of lengthy, alone bathroom time. So dad takes a magazine/New York Times; momma takes Pinot Grigio, I'll read the label.
During our stay I realized that in one afternoon we had turned their beautiful home upside down. Jackson took it upon himself to throw all sort of clothing items, pacifiers, pillows and toys off their stairs. I walked into their great room to find it littered with cars, puzzle pieces and books; Jackson was no where to be found. I guess this was room sufficiently destroyed he could move on...I would instruct our gracious hosts to keep their voices down our kids were sleeping and I was drinking. "You wake 'em, you take 'em." Then everyone in the house would wake up to Jackson announcing that he would like his juice, a candy bar and a show...this happens around 6:30. If you don't have kids, I'm guessing you don't awaken that early. Mealtime was always eventful, Blake watches a Baby Einstein while we eat, so you have 24 minutes to get the food down. And Jackson will pick and choose what items he will and won't eat today.
We had a lovely visit, many good times and memories made. Jackson was up late every night, naps were sporadic and meals consisted of cake and some taco. He had the time of his life! Blake decided that he would nap, oh yes, if someone would hold him...again when I say someone, I generally mean me. When we left, our hosts told us they would be getting another dog. I'm pretty sure this will be in lieu of any children that they had thought about having. After our visit, they are probably stocking up on birth control and eating in silence.
The car trip home was quiet, both kids napped for about 2 hours. Of course this was because my connection to the outside world had been suffocated out by water...I forgot about Siri's drowning incident. Which is not that big of a deal except I will have to engage in conversation on the way home when I could be on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest where I am supposed to be!

Peak - a great time with family.
Pit - both boys catching a cold the minute our car pulled into our driveway...too much weekend for them.
Have a wonderful week...but don't agree to any car trips!

1 comment:

  1. Oh yes... I remember going into the bathroom, turning the shower on and just sitting on the floor relishing in the peace and quiet. I so miss those days now, and would give anything to have them back :-(