Monday, August 13, 2012

The Weekly Minefield AKA The Grocery Store

     I really hate those people who walk in the middle of the aisles at the grocery store. You can never get around them and inevitably you will meet them in each and every aisle during your shopping experience. You will say 'excuse me' or you might move their cart a little hoping they will get the hint that they should pick a side...Oh by the way, since I grocery shop with Jackson, I am this person that I hate. Every Sunday morning Jackson and I make our way to the grocery store. This is our weekly, prescheduled date; he will tell you that we go to the grocery store on Sunday Funday.
    As Jackson becomes more aware of his surroundings I have discovered that the grocery store is a minefield. From the moment we enter the store, the parental difficulties begin. First and foremost, there must be an available race car shopping cart. If there isn't one, we just abort mission right then and there; no questions asked. I am ok with no food and a Mother Hubbard title for an entire week. You see, I one time attempted to grocery shop without the race car cart...every 3 to 5 minutes we had to discuss the fact that we were NOT in a car cart, where were they all? Jackson wanted to make sure that I understood how much he preferred the car cart...then we ran into a family who had a car cart...the melt down ensued and it was obvious to him that those parents loved their children much more than I love him. Jackson wanted those children to get out of his car cart...Never Again!

Got my Car Cart...Now let's get to shopping

     So once we get our car cart and we wipe the 475 different bacteria off of it...we begin to shop. Oh wait, that is only after I am instructed to take Jackson directly to the bakery where he will get his free cookie "with Sprinkles, momma". If the bakery employee dare be waiting on someone else, he will just announce that he's there for his cookie in a repetitive rap that gets louder and louder with each passing moment. We get the we are off...
I have my cookie...and I licked the steering wheel twice

     Things are usually fairly calm for the first few minutes. Jackson eats his cookie and I try to cover as much ground as possible. Because once the sugar from the cookie kicks in the real trouble begins.
I'm not sure why the grocery store insists on putting toys in random spots that adults never see until its too late. But Jackson has memorized the location of every toy car and monster truck that Publix sells and the finger flash lights...Oh yes we own 2 sets of finger flash lights.
What could be cooler than finger flashlights?

     He also knows there whereabouts of all gummy spidermen and goldfish. Which will really come in handy if we are ever stuck in the store for days without power.
     This week in the candy aisle, Jackson sees a lady holding a couple bags of candy and he tells me in his best whisper, "she's getting a lot of candy!" Of course the whisper of a toddler is some volume just below rock and roll concert. The woman gave me a dirty look...I didn't say it; give the kid the dirty look...oh well, me and the candy lady will never be friends. Oh and the girls with the freckly arms...Jackson asks, "momma, what's on her arm?" I say, "Freckles, just like I have on my arms." He then says, "Oh but she has so many!" Another dirty look sent my way.
      After these instances, I feel like we are good to finish the rest of our grocery experience...Oh but wait I need to turn my back for a second or two to grab an item...big error. Because I ride in the middle of the aisle, Jackson must stand up in order to reach the items on the shelves...And here he is doing it.
you can see he has launched a car out of the cart to divert my attention

And if you ever wonder why I get home with only half the items on the list, this would be the reason!

See my grocery list on the ground...I almost didn't

      Whew!...we made it to the check out line. Of course we still have to pay, and Jackson loves running my debit card through the reader. All that's left is to put in my passcode for my debit card. Jackson has to do this, so I have to call out my code. So if you work at Publix you can rob me blind...

What's your code...Loud and slow please

Pit - I gave in. He's the winner!

There's the new car, just purchased at grocery store...I hate Publix

Peak - Another Sunday Funday date to the grocery store with the cutest 2 year old I know.

I hope you get to grocery shop alone...or at least I hope they are having a wine tasting while you shop...


  1. Loved it!!!! So very true.

  2. I love Jackson! I can't imagine him having a meltdown! He is so awesome!

  3. Oh boy...Do I remember those days. LoL! Except when Lindsey was little, there was no such thing as antibacterial soap. After she ate her sprinkled sugar cookie she would end up licking her fingers and basically the entire shopping cart. Then on one of our visits to the famous Publix ~ Lindsey decided to say in a not so hush voice. "Mommy why is that lady soooo fat?" I thought I would just die right there, but I didn't and I received one of those dirty looks you were talking about... XoXo