Thursday, July 19, 2012

Everyday is a School Day...But What are the Peaks and Pits?

     With a rare, quiet moment I am reflecting on all that this last week or so has offered me; educationally speaking. Because as one of my Docs always says, "everyday is a school day Sharron". For starters,  I learned that the peaks and pits to each day have changed greatly since kids. Before kids my peaks were something along the lines of a great shoe sale, a stolen weekend with Luke off call or getting my favorite bike in spin class. Common pits:  realizing my car was on fumes when I was running late for work or missing 2 for 1 wine night at my favorite watering, my things have changed!
     My first peak now comes much earlier in the day. Frequently its when Jackson crawls into our bed around 6 am, he's so sweet and snugly. Then approximately 15 minutes later, the first pit...when I have drifted back into a slumber, Jackson screams at the top of his lungs that he now would like to watch a show...this announcement is usually preceded by a long toot (fart, for those of you without children) sent my way. This of course causes my husband to wake in a fit of laughter...(BTW, a baby screaming in the monitor next to his head at 3 a.m. doesn't even pause his flagrant snoring.) Thus I begin my morning...workdays I leave around 7, so its a race around the house to get everything quickly done. Jackson usually helps out considerably by taking everything out of the bathroom cabinets. Even better, he loves to squirt the lotion under the sink over and over again. He makes such a huge, gross mess, but it keeps him quiet and busy for about 4 minutes.  He also likes to fill random objects with water in the bathtub and spill them all over the bathroom floor. So once I'm either ready to go or I can't take anymore we head downstairs.
     As we leave the bedroom I often try to quiet Jackson so as to not wake Blake...Jackson puts his finger over his mouth in a shhhhh position...YES its working, he's quiet! Then I put my foot on the first step down and Jackson trumpets, as loudly as possible, "I'm being so quiet momma!" This he says with complete pride and pure innocence, unaware that he has likely startled Blake awake - second peak because how can you not smile at this. And so goes much of the day...
    I also learned that my toddler is the Johnny Cochran of concrete defense. How so, you ask...I'll show you....

Jackson is not allowed to stand on the couch, plain and simple. When I saw this in action I said, "are you supposed to be standing on the couch?!"(An attempt to strengthen his ability to reason.) To which he calmly says, "No, I'm on my step stool." (This is a black and white subject for him and the answer was so obvious). So, I manually removed him from this potential disaster and our circular debate on the subject continued until I could get to the coffee pot. Later my husband asks, "did you really take his picture doing this?" No I was able to download this photo from Google Earth and TMZ! Seriously, if I had to take him to the ER I wanted evidence of how his injuries occurred. I mean if the State is going to place him with another family they need to know what they are going to be up against.
     Next,  I discovered that a tedious, lengthy wait in a doctor's office is welcomed if you are alone! I was able to read my email, cyber stalk on Facebook and look up recipes I will never make on Pinterest...severely productive use of my time. Oh and I eavesdropped on several surrounding conversations without once having to shush a child. I may start making up fake illnesses to have some alone time.
     My son has also taught me that he no longer needs my assistance in dressing. This should greatly speed up our morning routine.

      Also we apparently don't need a jacuzzi tub in our bathroom. Jackson informed me the other night that the big bubbles were from his butt. Fabulous...this ties right into the next fun fact from the week...little boys like whoopee cushions...Yes Luke that is because they have an X and Y chromosome.  

     Here's a tidbit that I think many of you will find useful...Just because your 2 year old has a vehicle and a mustache does NOT mean they will allow him to buy a bottle of wine for you.

     Something I thought I would never son has a rat tail...apparently when you marry someone from Kansas this just and learn!

     My 2 year old can easily earn millions as a hostage negotiator. For the last week, I have been worked over by this daft criminal after his bedtime, bringing him water, reading another story, turning on the stars in his room (yes that's my super power) and many other sleep stalling tactics. He's started yelling, "momma, somethings wrong"...Like Chinese water torture this statement is repeated 25 times in rapid succession. Finally I cave, I'm no Navy Seal, and I ask, "what's wrong?" A question that he clearly is not prepared to answer. And finally there's a break in the verbal persecution. Next he begins the repetitive mantra "I just need my momma" this is accompanied with sobs. I break...I too am crying as put my wine down, we had just been reunited. Up the stairs I go, to lay with him for a bit. And as he drifts off...I sneak out usually just in time for the midway point of Law and Order...luckily Luke has been watching...In a simple, succinct sentence he gets me up to speed..."that girl was raped and they don't know who did it"....great now I know all the details and I feel I can predict the ending.
     Lastly, after 19 years with this feline I have just come to learn he collects stickers.

     So you see my week has been full of learning experiences...How about you? Learn anything new this week? Also...what were your peaks and pits? Here were two of mine...
PEAK...Blake turned 3 months old and Jackson survived another day





  1. His eyes are the most amazing BLUE!! Thoroughly enjoyed this! Oh and the step stool..butt farts ..OMY GOSH and to whom gets the proverbial "yup definitely your DNA" :0)

    SO thankful i am a granny..yes, with a twinkle in my eye bring them back home to my daughters!!

    Can't wait to read your next adventure !

  2. I can't wait to read more too and see what I've got in store for myself!

  3. sharron you have a blog!! love it! this made me laugh so hard!

  4. So cute, and so funny! Keep 'em coming (won't be hard:))