Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Boys Pact - It Has Already Started

they are clearly plotting a hostile take over
I figured one day Luke and the boys would have secrets and looks and handshakes that they shared that I would not be privy to...I didn't think it would happen so soon. Lately it has been obvious to me that I am outnumbered. The testosterone level in our home is ever rising. The penis swag is overt and I am not invited to their party...unless it needs catering. Jackson will toss my bra at me and tell me to put on my boobs. We were all going for a walk after dinner and Jackson starts telling me to stay home. I asked him why I couldn't go for the walk, he replied...read carefully..."you have to stay home and clean the kitchen." I mentally scratched Luke's eyes out! Then I made a mental note for when Jackson is in middle school to embarrass him to no end.
So since they are already teaming up I decided I would go to a conference for only one day. And since Luke uses every other weekend to be "on call" (I really do not believe that he goes to the hospital. I think he goes to the gym, gets a quiet breakfast and then spreads some goat blood on his scrubs) I thought I could go to a one day conference. I rarely leave Luke alone to tend to both boys, but it was a local conference on a topic that I enjoy...and I need CMEs. Luke says it will be fine and that I should not worry. I ask him if he wants me to have the nanny come for half a day..."No, its just one day and 2 boys"...famous last words.
In the morning, I get up early to get ready. The weird thing is I have to wear real clothes, business casual. I wear scrubs everyday, why can't I just wear scrubs to a medical conference. But I put on a skirt and heels and I brushed my hair! I came out of the bathroom to find 2 little boys in our room. Luke was already looking skittish. I tell myself privately that they will be ok...they are my little princes. We all head downstairs, by this time Jackson is barking his morning orders. "I want some juice. I am going to wake up my movie Cars. I want a candy bar. Dad, Dadda I want some juice!" Blake is screaming, its clearly time for a feeding.
I gather my things and kiss everyone bye...Luke says, "You better hurry." As I go into the garage hearing the scream, laugh, cries I think to myself...hahahahahaha....I am "On Call".  I make it to the conference, I send several texts to check in, but no response...someone has been tied up. Then I receive a photo...

I'm pretty sure this breakfast contains only carbohydrates and fat...where is the fruit?
Luke and Jackson went to breakfast, so nice. Where the hell is Blake?!! No response.
I finally get a text that says he is surviving....who, who is surviving? Where is the baby?
I eventually arrive home. I find 2 little boys in their tshirts and diapers. Jackson says, "2 boys, no pants!" The house is clean. The boys have napped. No one has been to the emergency room. Maybe they don't need me as much as I think they do. I guess Luke really can handle all of this. I ask Jackson how his day was, "really good." Blake and Jackson are sharing toys. WTF is happening in this house?
Finally someone gives it up...My mother-in-law babysat Blake all day! I knew it...they need me. But the boy bond is strong and I see that these Evans Boys are gonna stick together.

Peak - My Evans Boys...the good times have only just begun
Here they are - waiting on their next meal provided by their obligatory woman

Pit - A friend gave me a Nerd Rope...have you ever had one of these things? I'm pretty sure I'm addicted
I saw patients in the hospital like this!

Have a wonderful week...encourage your husbands to have private bonds with your kids...then you can go out and drink wine with your friends! - Sharron

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